Finishing Last

I am a nice person.

After failed relationships, and seeing what I’ve been processing over the last few months…no, really the last year…it has become acutely apparent that I am a good, nice person.  I will take care of someone.  And I will love unconditionally.

Yet, why do I go for the people who don’t seem to value me?

That’s a question for a therapist, I’m sure.  Who knows.

But if positive thinking is supposed to work (isn’t that what The Secret is based entirely around) then this is what I am putting out in the universe:

I want someone who wants me for me.
I want someone who loves me for me.
I want someone who makes me laugh.
I want someone who knows that even after we have a misunderstanding, that it doesn’t mean I hate them.
I want someone who appreciates my sense of humor.
I want someone who is happy to see me in the morning when we wake up, and is grateful to kiss me goodnight before we go to sleep.
I want someone who doesn’t mind if I ask a question or two, to understand a situation before making any sort of judgment call on it.
I want someone who can get along in a social setting.
I want someone who wants to spend time with me as much as I want to spend time with them.
I want someone who has dreams, and is working to achieve them, but understands that sometimes life gets in the way.
I want someone who is not afraid to be daring.
I want someone who will communicate.
I want someone who can see that I would do anything on this earth for them because I love them.
This is the beginning of a very detailed list.  I don’t know.  Maybe this is the stuff of fairy tales and romantic movies.  Or maybe this could be my life.

But I have a lot to offer someone…and someday, someone will see that.  And if not, well, I suppose I can be a crazy cat lady.  Though that requires gender reassignment surgery.  And a heck of a lot more cats.

I am a nice guy.  And it’s true.  We do finish last.  It’s always this last leg of the race that is the hardest.  And yet, I keep slogging on.

 

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Posted on September 3, 2012, in Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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