The Leech

I’m at a crossroads. I’m not sure how to even begin speaking about this particular person in my world.

He is someone who I’ve never actually met but through the magic of the Internet, we got to know each other. And now, seven years later, he is still here.

Yet I don’t know that I’m getting anything out if this relationship. I’ve been straightforward with him and saying that while I am supportive, I’m not a trained therapist. While I am sad that he suffers from depression, I am not equipped to handle any sort of concerns that he has about his depression.

Over time feel as though I am having more and more of the energy to deal with someone like this sucked out of me. Every conversation feels more and more tiring, draining and sea me on edge.

What do I do? He’s already pulled the “By the time you read this it won’t matter anymore because I’ll be dead.” Which I responded to the next morning by calling the police for fear of his safety.

I want him to be okay and safe but how do I handle this situation? How do you deal with a leech? Rip them off? I don’t know.

All I can do is wish him well. I’m doing my best to be sensitive but I find my energy waning.

Any thoughts? I’d love to hear them.


Posted on February 22, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. yeah. get away. you were right to call the police. (do you know his real name, address?) anyway, he needs to be networked into a real supportive mental health community. does he know how to find one, have the motivation to reach out? (he reached out to you, right? there’s something stirring that wants things to work out. but enough w/ the manipulation. it’s not on you. connect him w/ people who can help and step away. it’s late. i’m just a layperson too. but it sounds twisted and unhealthy. good luck.

    • Thanks for your thoughts and advice.

      That’s been my thought all along. I suggested to him that he find a crisis hotline, or a trained professional, that I am not able to handle his stuff simply because I don’t know how to do that. He then accused me of “How is that supportive when you’re passing me off to someone else?”

      Which I responded by saying the following:

      Is that really what you think I’m doing? I’m stating that I don’t know how to handle this. I am not a psychologist or a therapist. I am sorry that you are depressed, and I wish that I could take this away from you so you don’t have to feel whatever you’re feeling. But I don’t know what to do in a situation like this. All I can do is offer an action plan.

      While I have never been as depressed as you seem to be, I have been in some pretty rough places in my life and knew that finding someone who was trained in this area was beneficial. And it helped in the long run, and gave me some coping skills to be able to move forward.

      I’m not trying to “pass you off” to someone else, I’m simply looking at the reality of the situation, and provide options in a supportive manner. I’m sorry if you feel otherwise.

      It’s been rough. I really do wish him well. I just don’t want to be manipulated into feeling as though I’m a free therapist, and then shat upon whenever my advice doesn’t measure up to whatever fix-all-cure-all he is looking for.

  2. has worldwide resources.

    It is good that you are honest with him, and tell him that you can’t handle these things. I think you should provide him with resources, and just hope that he gets help.

    I could give you more resources that could help if you would like.

    You are awesome, for knowing your limitations.

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